total quarter life mlc

[Sanderika]

Your H is providing something. Are you sure he has not been honest with her about money? Are you sure he has not provided money to her in some way?

Another thought...OW has recently learned of his troubles with the business and is staying just long enough to find something better. Perhaps where she is currently is better than where she could be.

In my sitch I am positive OW is only after the money. Her best friend knows some of my friends and has admitted this to them about her.

They stay for the most part if there is something they are getting in return or have been promised.

These women are germs. They don't go away easily. We don't really know what our H's say to them and promise them.

I would have my head in the sand if I thought my H didn't love the OW. I know he does. As hateful and evil as she is....he loves her. GROSS!!!!! She was there when I wasn't. She filled an emotional void that I had neglected. I know that he is having a hard time leaving her even though he knows he should.

This all so very confusing and hard to understand. Unfortunately no one sitch is the same, there is no textbook. The personalties that make up the sitches vary widely as well, we have seen something work for one and not another and vice- versa.

Getting to know your man and your sitch inside out will help. Learn and journal, successes and failures. I keep a diary of the events daily. I know when he is with her and when he is not. Knowledge is power. I use it to learn and improve. I have my eyes wide open. My heart just doesn't agree with the common sense part of my brain.

It's funny how they can be totally put out with us one minute and totally gaa gaa the next. I find too that I don't create the annoyance. I have learned that it is the OW who plants the seed in his brain which turns him against me. How can I be the problem? I am not his problem, the OW is his problem. H knows it too.

I think they walk in fear most days. They are just as afraid of their future as we are of ours. I also don't think they like what they have created. They are usually too proud to change it. If yours is like mine, he has paraded his OW around town and acted like the big man on campus to everyone we know. To come home would be admitting weakness and failure. It's going to be hard. Most men will not do that. Most men will break-up with the OW and move on to another one before coming home.

I will go back tomorrow and read more of your posts and previous threads so I can understand where you have been. It would be most helpful in talking with you.

Take care for the night....

Sanderika