> > >> This is very clever. >> Teachers may especially enjoy this one! >> >> :. Can you read these right the first time? >> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. >> 2) The farm was used to produce produce. >> 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. >> 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. >> 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. >> 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. >> 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was >> time to present the present. >> 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. >> 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. >> 10) I did not object to the object. >> 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. >> 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. >> 13) They were too close to the door to close it. >> 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. >> 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. >> 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. >> 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. >> 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear. >> 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. >> 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? >> >> Let's face it, English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, >> nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English >> muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France. >> Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. >> We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find >> that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig >> is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. >> >> And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't >> groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't >> the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? >> One index, 2 indices? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? >> Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you >> have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what >> do you call it? >> >> Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an >> asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a >> play and play at a recital, ship by truck and send cargo by ship, have >> noses that run and feet that smell? >> >> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and >> a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a >> language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you >> fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by >> going on. >> >> English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the >> creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. >> That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the >> lights are out, they are invisible. >> >> PS. - Why doesn't Buick rhyme with quick? >> >> You lovers of the English language might enjoy this: >> >> There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other >> two-letter word, and that is UP. >> It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or toward the top of >> the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a >> meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the >> officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a >> report ? >> >> We call UP our friends. We use something to brighten UP a room, polish >> UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers, and clean UP the kitchen. We lock >> UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car . At other time s the >> little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP >> for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is >> one thing but to be dressed UP is special .. >> >> And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is >> stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at >> night. >> >> We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the >> proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a >> desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add >> UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might >> try building = < /SPAN>UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will >> takeUP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP >> with a hundred or more. >> When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun comes >> out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and >> often messes thin gs UP >> When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP >> >> We could go on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP! Time to >> shut UP ! >> Oh... one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and >> the last thing you do at night? >> U-P >> and the word sugar has no 'h' is that so? >> sure. . .. . .. >>
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
