Okay, I got this lovely little e-mail from og today, talking about my kids. I would post it but it has everyone's names in it. In a nutshell- How she and J are so happy and as soon as our d is final (July 7th) that the four of them (they and my kids) will be so happy together and she can't wait to get to know them better. She also can't wait for her and J to come to my d's birthday party (which is 3 days after the d is final), and what does she want so that they can get it for her???
And that I have brought on all of this drama.
I need something. Meds, shots, yoga, I dunno. An 18yo is ready to be a happy little family with my children. I just ignored it. I have to remember I am 32, not 18. Jeeeezzzzz.
Perspective is important SoCo.
Remember when you were 18(ish)?
What kinds of things were your peers really into? Getting married and settling down? Providing for a family?
I doubt it.
Most likely it was where they were going to go to college and/or where the next party was.....
And while it might be flattering to have the attentions of a "mature" 30-something man, I have a feeling that she will slowly realize that "playing house" isn't so much fun anymore when she has to come down to earth and figure out:
Why do we have to stay home so much? Why can't we just go out and party?
Why should I work so hard to support these kids that aren't even mine?
We NEVER go out and do ANYTHING anymore!
I'm sick and tired of all this responsibility.
Do you see why this won't work? Why it CAN'T work?
There is a reason why you don't see a lot of successful marriages between 18y.o.'s and 30-somethings......
Because it DOESN'T work.
To quote one of my favorite T.V. characters... Kane (Young Grasshopper) from the old T.V. show "Kung Fu"
"He will be his own undoing."
I know it's hard, esp. w/ little miss starry-eyed doe stoking the fires with her email, but don't let yourself be rattled by this. The joke is on them.
Time is on YOUR side.
(And mommy will ALWAYS be mommy, and can NEVER be replaced...you can bet your bottom dollar on that!)
PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL THINGS. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
DBing and MLC take their toll....Please provide exact CHANGE. -Jimbo
I've never posted to you but have been following along. Last week someone posted a website started by a woman who used to post here: midlifecrisisadvocate.com - I found it very helpful, especially for those of us who have an H with a HO, um, I mean an OW. Here is a sample of her writing:
Quote:
He seems content to stay with her. It really feels like the end, especially since he has an OW. This is normal, but also understand that things are not always as they seem. If the affair is new or only recently public, according to the MLC process, he should be content to be with her. He's getting what he thinks he wants. MLCers have OWs; an affair is part of the MLC process. Consider that the presence of an OW helps your chances rather than hinders them. The more in-love he thinks he is—actually in-fatuation—the less real it is. Are you insulted that he is getting serious so quickly? Fools rush in, so let them. The process of destruction starts now but is not immediate—and you are not the destroyer. Infidelity destroys itself.
This is part of a long article listed under Infidelity Part III.
By the way, you can post the teenager's letter. Just copy/paste then delete all the personal names and such.
The idiot will do herself in. Stay strong.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Um. Yeah. The joke is most def. on her. She has no clue what a *&*%*#$#*%#%T^@$%%* (ok, that's enough) she is in "love" with. LOL I used to feel sorry for her b/c he was manipulating and lying to her so bad, until she started being a b**ch. Now the sorry is gone.
Thanks guys! And nice to meet you Silver!
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Last week someone posted a website started by a woman who used to post here: midlifecrisisadvocate.com - I found it very helpful, especially for those of us who have an H with a HO, um, I mean an OW.
I think SF meant midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com . Great site, and really worth a read!
Thanks for mentioning it here, SF!
PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL THINGS. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
DBing and MLC take their toll....Please provide exact CHANGE. -Jimbo
Yeah, I kind of screwed that up - left out the all important MARRIAGE part. Thanks Jimbo
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
