total quarter life mlc

[Sanderika]

mdoodles,

My son is very hurt. He was 9 when H left us. He feels totally neglected and abandoned by his father. My H has only recently (in the past 4 months shown an interest in son). The MLC tears them so far away from their families and it is such a shame. The ones who end up hurt the most are the kids.

My son is in therapy. He tells people he hates him and has no use for him. My son has become very comfortable with only me around, he has said he actually doesn't care if his dad comes back or not. This makes me cry. Yesterday I cried.

I do not believe that this cannot be fixed. If H were to come back and become even half a dad, son would respond in a more positive way. It needs to happen as soon as possible. H has been gone for 46 months and time is wasting. Son is now a teenager and his interests naturally will divert away from his family. H needs to get on board or he will lose son. At this point they don't really even know each other anymore. They both have a lot of work to do.

At my demands, son is always polite and engaging with his dad. I have told son that regardless of the circumstances right now I will not tolerate any disrespect. Down the road, when he is on his own he may behave as he chooses. Right now he understands, we talk a lot. I have worked very hard to be both mom and dad. I had "the talk" with son. Yesterday I took him indoor go-karting. I try really hard to fill the void.

It's so darn hard. I only had sisters and I have no real connections to 13 year old boys. I am doing the best I can. So far, from what people tell me, I am doing a good job. Like I said before, I want H to Man-Up to his responsibilities. This guy has only one son. AND he's a son!!!! OMG, it just tears me apart.

Snodderly once wrote to a poster....Men reconnect back to their children first and then back to their wives before coming back home. I hope the attention H has given to son of late is a good sign.

Your son is 5. He must have very little memory of daddy being at home full time. I wish that had been the case for mine. Unfortunately my son will never forget this time in his life. This is the one thing that I could hate H for. The damage to son is hard to forgive.

We need to protect them. They are only little for a short while. Kids are meant to have childhoods that are carefree and loving and playful. My son knows different and in a way he has grown up much too fast. I hate that.

Sanderika