H got home from the lake last night and asked to talk to me. Long story short - He had written down a list of a dozen or so things he needed to get off his chest. The big announcement was that he said he will not be going back to counseling anymore because he said it's not helping - one of us usually leaves extremely angry (which is true here lately). I've made the decision to continue on my own. I can only work on myself and either he'll respond to changes in me or he won't.
He also said the only reason he came back home was because it was Father's Day and he wanted to see the boys. He had prepared to stay down at the lake for a week and I guess he'd just run his business from there?
We actually had the best conversation we've had in a long time. I yet again took ownership for my part of the problem. Not sure he's really doing that. I basically told him that I didn't like the person I saw in the mirror and I couldn't be that person any more. I have made improvements and continue to do so - in order to have a happy life.
At this point I'm moving on. If he wants to be with me great, if not I'll be just fine. He still wants to ML so I'm not buying that there's no connection at all between us.
By the way the book Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry CLoud & Dr. John Townsend is excellent! I've only read the first three chapters and I've already learned a great deal - especially about myself. I highly recommend it. You should know that it is written from a Christian perspective.
I'm sure at some point with my own growth & development I may come to the conclusion that the marriage can't be saved. I'm not there yet. I can only control my own behavior and that's what I'm going to focus on. I let him know I'm expect to see changes in him as well. We'll see what happens...
