I hate my H

[Forrest Gump]

"I also have to tell you that I went back & read your thread. What a cliffhanger! I could never really find info on how you got your wife back. I felt like I was reading a novel, like when you moved out, I was screaming in my mind - no don't do it! Fortunately I knew there was a happy ending."

I am just impressed you could still find my story. Last time I tried to search this place I had to use keywords and search limiters on Google. Part of my walk was removing myself from here (DB.com). I found that it kept me "in the moment". I just stopped posting. I think it was about 3 months or so. The "How" is what I write about now. For me a big part of it was "Distancing/Detaching" from the situation. I became very "matter of factish". I would not let things (Drama) that she was creating effect me. Once I understood that I could not change her view on things and stopped trying.. things changed. If she told me something was purple.. but it was clearly red.. I just said "Ok.. your right". To a point she had to decide on her own if she wanted to be with me. I am not the greatest things since sliced bread.. but I will assure you I was much better than the people she was choosing to spend time with. In the end she saw that.. on her own. Trust me.. I made my own messes. I screwed up alot. The odd thing is that even if I had posted exactly what happened I don't know that it would "help" others. I really think that you have to "get it" and apply "it" in your own way.

"Wow I really have to change the title of this thread!"

I would recommend that you don't. The mods are supposed to lock the threads and I know they have been a little slack.. but it will give you a reference point once they do. Just like life when they lock it and you move to another.. then make the change.

"Anywho...when you are REALLY & TRULY making your changes, you don't have to worry anymore about - did I do or say the right thing? You just KNOW you did. It's not about doing the right thing anymore "to see if your WAS responds" - you just do it because it feels right & you want to."

Now can you go back and read things now and "see" that this has been said many times.. many different ways? Why did you not "see" it?

"Is this what you guys have been trying to get me to "get"? Please read post above. It's what made me have this revelation."

Life has a way of cluing us in doesn't it? Did you really have to ask the first question.. or did you already know the answer?

"BTW Forrest mutual friend J3B says Hi...."

Tell Jack... Arghhh Matey!

Remember what you learn as you walk along here HVA. At the very least.. no matter what happens.. you will one day look back on this as one of the "best" experiences of your life. As long as you learn from it.. and Do Work.