I kind of laughed when I read where you said he was stuborn about moving out b/c I think I see a bit in you too. The point is if he's making your life miserable enough....it's time to leave that house and stop enduring that torment. But the decision is up to you and when.
Now I will tell you my idea of dropping the rope and others may have their own. To me, it is much more than detaching. Dropping the rope is to act as if he is not in your life......period. If he were not in your life, would you ask him if he wanted to partake in the dinner you cooked? If he were not in your life, would you bake cookies and watch a movie with him? See what I mean? He is cakewalking big time and you have yourself to blame b/c you are thankful for any crumbs he tossese your way. "Crumbs" being his time/attention for you. He is walking all over you MJ. You need to show self respect and make him respect you also. He is not going to do it as long as he knows he can treat you like this and still be able to do whatever he wants and you will be available to watch a movie or cook him food.
IMHO, you are much too nice to him. Do you think I would treat a man who wanted to divorce me like you are treating him? He has life pretty good, doesn't he?
It is hard b/c you still love him. Love can help you endure the rough ride.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
