I wanted to come over to your thread to post a response to something you'd written today on Tal's.
You said:
Quote: At first you really don't even want to ask, but by using "I" statements express how you would feel if you did get what you want and drop it. Give him time to work on offering such when he has a chance to. If it becomes his choice to offer what you expressed as liking, you both will get more satisfaction, where in directly asking for it will tend to make him feel more burden to oblige and avoids resentment on your part that your expectations are always being pushed into the closet.
This is where I'M stuck right now. In the past I've tried various ways to 'express myself and my needs" to my H to let him know what I need him to do, in order to help reassure me that he is in this 100% with me this time. I find that he sits and listens, nods his head in affirmation, says, "I'll try" etc etc...and then proceeds like a stubborn or disinterested child to ignore each of my requests.
I am giving up...shriveling up, might be a better word from NOT getting what I need in any measure from him. Oh sure he's into doing those 'acts of service' but THAT is NOT what I've asked for.
I'm trying to be patient, I'm trying to give this new cohabitation time..but I fear that it's all going to be for nothing if he continues to refuse to meet any of my needs my way.
Selfish? I don't think so, I thinks it's mutual consideration.
