Agh! He's detached completely!

[IWillSaveOurMarr]

I sent him a quick apology email, just because, for me, that's a 180, cause normally he's the one doing the apology.

He wrote back saying in part:
"I meant what I said, in that I want the best for you and for you to be happy, and for me to have no part in it whatsoever. I want you to leave me alone."

As well as saying that he doesn't want to talk to me, once again....

<deep breath> This whole thing makes me absolutely crazy.

So I'm copying my legal papers for my attorney this afternoon and in his office (my printer doesn't copy things) and lo and behold, I see a credit card statement that shows some expenses...$64 for flowers. I called the local florist and hopefully she will get back to me as far as who this was for, I was hoping it would have been for mothers day, but that was May 10th, and this was May 29th. Well, I guess we will find out who exactly this was for.....I really didn't think he was cheating on me, but maybe he is? Maybe its no one new, it's his ex gf, because he does have her kids birthday party in his planner, and that is a weird thing right there, because why would he go to some kids b-day party unless he's significant in her life?

Agh, I hate thinking this way, but the way he's spending money is crazy, and i intend to get a maintenance going today as well because there is no way I'm going through 12-16 months of a divorce preceedings through court (as opposed to other methods) that doesn't start giving me some cash right now when he is spending money hand over fist. I hate him this moment, for the spending, and the flowers and the damn email. I really do.

A friend asked me if she thought he might hurt himself becase of the anxiety, and I really can't let that worry me anymore because I have informed both his therapist, our MC, and his parents of the level of anxiety and the specific symptons he's experienced, and they and him have to be the next ones to do something because after all, he's not listening to me, so there's nothing I can do anymore. My concience is clear, I let them and him know how concerned I am about him, he is choosing to not get more help, which he desperately needs. I am just worrying about me now, because I can't afford the energey to worry about him, it's cost me far too much.

Oh, my mom stopped by and I gave her a tour of the garden and plantings I've done. She was shocked by how warm it was, and said that I should turn on the A/C. I checked the temperature on the thermostat, and it said 81 degrees, so I closed the windows and turned it on. Plus, it will help us dry out the basement because that got backed up with sewage a few days ago and STILL isn't dry, depsite the fan going 24/7 for days.