Count ME in as a member of the Procrastinators Club. Like Cathy, my friends have gotten use to my reneging on promises to show up at different events etc..
I am also quick to say, "Sure I'll go" (if the event is days or weeks away) because in the back of my mind, I'm already planning my 'excuse' for NOT going. I began doing this out of 'consideration' for my H...I thought (back when I was trying to get him to spend more time with me before the bomb) that if I was always 'available' to do things with him he'd be there to do things with me...BUT, he rarely was. So my 'promise' to come or do something with my friends, was as empty as my Hs promise to do things with me.
I NO LONGER make empty promises. If I'm invited somewhere, BEFORE I answer I ask myself "will I REALLY go?" and if the answer's no, I politely decline rather than disappoint.
It's hard to get out of the 'wishful thinking'/'thinking out loud' mode when you've been doing it for years. Maybe a gentle talk with W about that might help her see what she's doing from someone else's perspective. Use YOURSELF as the example, NOT HER. T2
