What's it really all about?

[AlexEN]

What I’ve come to realize is that for me The Fear is what we are about to tell the children (that we will be getting a D) and my belief that it will forever change their lives…

@Smiley, as he so often does, captured the weight of that Fear when he wrote about it a couple of weeks ago:

It's incomprehensible to me. Knowing what's coming - wondering what the looks on their faces will be, what the ache in their little hearts and tummies will be, how confused and frightened and abandoned and betrayed they're going to feel – makes my head spin…

And while I think SP, nobly perhaps, took more of the blame than I am willing to in my sitch, something else he wrote then resonates loudly after having read the cards my children made for me this Father’s Day weekend:

I feel so inhumane, so profoundly guilty that our failure to meet each others’ adult needs also has to be so terribly, terribly destructive of their child-needs.

I finally realized that it is that fear and the guilt that it engenders with which I am consumed.

God, that is SO true, Alex. That is EXACTLY the point at which my wife and I keep backing away from the abyss, too!

Puppy

Puppy,

I wish it would make her take a step back, too, but that's not in the cards; it's just another thing on her checklist... "Tell kids, get on with it."

The conversation will happen; my task is to fight the Fear so I can be strong for the kids.

-AlexEN

-AlexEN