First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

Thanks for the comments guys. Especially the Fathers Day ones! Made my day. But get this, W actually wished me a Happy Fathers Day! No card or anything, but she did give me the wish first thing Sunday morning and then mentioned it again when we were out for dinner yesterday evening.

I hear what you're saying Pup. And I hear ya WDID. Dr., I've been following along on your sitch, but don't really have anything to add that others haven't.

I've calmed down now. Weekend was good. She didn't bring up my note, but it definitely had an affect on her because she was even better than she's been.

So....what to do? Time to confront like Pup suggests? Give her more time and talk like WDID suggests? Or something else?

Here's what I think I'm going to do.

W continues to say the right things (except for that elusive 'I love you'). And not in a calculated way. Just off hand comments during conversations that tell me she's planning on staying. So what does that tell me? Tells me that it could be a number of things that are holding her back. Could be continued contact with OM, in a 'how's it going' way. Could be her pride/ego with me. Could be pride/ego with EGF.

Whatever it is, I truly feel like she's figuring it out and will get there on her own time frame. Obviously not as fast as I'd like, but she will. Maybe this is God's way of teaching me patience, because he knows I was the most impatient person alive prior to this, and he's not done teaching me that lesson yet.

Anyway....lets say I confront now, just when she's figuring this out on her own and she breaks down and admits everything and and and....but it's not on her terms. But if she IS figuring it out and gets defensive because I've pushed. What then? I don't really have many options this minute. Can't separate without taking a bath on the house and disrupting S17's senior year in H.S. Company isn't transferring people due to the economy. Not a good option.

So if she's figuring it out on her own and I give her more time, isn't it better for US in the long run? Lets say I confront that I suspect she is still talking to OM and she isn't, but it's the other things that could be holding her back?

W moves out of 'their' building in a week and a half. I'm going to see if there's a change in her then. EGF is getting married this weekend and I don't suspect she'll stay working there much longer because the new victim lives another 1/2 hour further away from work and she's already talking about finding a new job closer to (new) home. W and I are going away for the weekend this weekend. First week of August, family vacation to Myrtle Beach. First week of Nov, W and I are going to Disney again.

Thing is, I think W knows what's holding her back and is dealing with it in her own way. Whether it's contact with OM or her pride/ego/guilt, who knows. But if she's dealing with it, which I see, then it's best in the long run, for us, for her to deal with it rather than me pushing her.

And come winter time, if we're still where we are, then S17 will be half way through his senior year and I'll make my decisions then.

Go ahead Pup, let me have it. But I know my W. And trust me, IF we're going to make it, she HAS to figure this out and deal with it her own way. Me pushing is the WRONG way, I think. And come winter, if we're still in the same spot, I'll be ready to move on, S17 will be in a better place, work will be in a better place and I'll be ready to go.

Oh, and one more thing that makes me think W is figuring it out. Friday night we were talking and she made a comment that EGF wants her to fly to Montana for her wedding this weekend. W told EGF, "I'm old enough to be your mother, it's not like I'm the maid of honor or something". Ah...EGF isn't what she used to be. Guess my not attacking her was the right move there.

Ok, I know this is rambling so go a head and ask if something doesn't make sense.

Thanks for listening.