I really appreciate your offer. You're not the only person who has offered to confront xW for what she is doing. My mother in particular has been so riled up over xW's actions that she has practically begged me several different times to let her put xW in her place. (I get my own hot-blooded Scots-Irish confrontational disposition from her and her side of the family.) She can be her own force of nature if (when) she lets herself do so.
If I thought you or anyone in my family could in any way positively influence xW, I'd turn you loose to do so. But my xW has proven how intractable and immovable a WAS can be once they have convinced themselves that their spouse is the chief-most enemy of their "happiness". Anything I or anyone on my "side" might say to her, even in the spirit of good will and understanding, has been proven time and time again to just be more fodder for xW twisting to fit into her reality distortion field. She will not be moved, not by me, not by family or friends, not by total strangers or clinical professionals.
Instead I instruct my mother and others wanting to help our situation to pray to God, for only He can change a person's heart -- but because of Free Will it is still up to xW to allow Him into her heart to be able to accomplish this change. Unfortunately, most of us do not give into God's grace until we have hit absolute rock bottom. Until then we bystanders must pray and be patient for the possibility that a lost soul will rectify their situation through the Lord's help.
Thus it's up to xW.
In the mean time I am fighting hard to not be demoralized by her psychological warfare tactics and the collateral damage this might be having on our S's.
xW has surrounded herself with sycophants, co-conspirators, enablers and other morally ignorant supporters. The very reason for their existence within her life is to support her self-interests and nothing more -- so to them she can do no wrong. I suspect that xW is likely rationalizing, in her own warped way, that she was actually being magnanimous and very conciliatory by allowing me to spend time with our S's on one of her days. I think she is that warped in her mindset, and her supporters play right along with that thinking.
So that too would indicate that xW is beyond reproach.
