This board is become as busy as "Newcomers"! Come back to work from another three day weekend and there's a page and a half of unread posts! I remember when I would come back and there were only five or six threads that were updated. I guess the greatly increased activity here is a testiment to more and more people by applying Michelle's Dbingare able to save their M's from the brink of disaster.

Thanks Jackie & darkblue for the support. Jackie, to answer question about about small 180's to get a different response form CAW, honestly I running out of 180's to try. See below for a prime example...

bumbling, nice to hear from you again after your all too short a stay here back in May! Hope you are doing well. Are you still "piecing"? If so, I hope things between your H and you are getting better.

I just read a post from Shiny praising this bb a unlimitless resource towards coming up with solutions that can for nearly any situation. I think I need to tap into that here for I'm stumped with this one.

Over the months I have learn to hold my expectations based on "baby steps" she has made in check and have been pretty successful in avoid any resentment on my part from those expectations ... but now, CAW has been setting up expectations and then as the last minute backs out, making me (and others including D10, so I'm not taking it personally) feel like I'm left in a lurch. It usually nothing big, like asking if stew sounds good for dinner tonight, then about an half hour before meal time telling me she decided not to make dinner and to fend for myself. Mentions a week or so before, we ought to go to some event, it would be fun ... only to change her mind the day of. Most say don't sweat the small stuff and if it was every once in a while, that's fine ... but recently, there's some expectation she sets up nearly every other day that she then backs down. I guess another word for it as frequent as she is doing it is that she is turning into a tease, altho she does take offense to that and doesn't see it that way.

So now there's two points of trepidation I'm looking to eliminate. First comes when she sets up the expectation. At first I would act "as-if" we should go for it, which often then leads to disappointment. Now my "knee-jerk" thought becomes "Yea, right, that's not likely to happen", so then I mostly remain slilent which doesn't go over to well as-if she is seems to be looking for some kind of affirmation when she mentions it. Its a catch-22 I haven't found a work around yet and its starting to get to me big time.

The second part is when at the last minute she changes her mind, which BTW she takes quite literally as a woman's purgative to be practiced whenever she wants.

Been trying to let this go, not to sweat it, but when it occurs as often as it has been lately ... it doesn't work and it also affect D10 too and my heart breaks whenever she is let down by her mom.

Any suggestions? What way is there to act "as-if", when she brings up something and doesn't follow thru (multiple pun intended here!) ? I'm hoping you swell folks here can help me out with this one?

'til later,
KAW