Put off for whom? You wouldn't do it for HER, you would do it for YOU, to either:
a) give yourself the satisfaction of knowing nothing inappropriate was going on; or
b) give yourself the proof of an EA or PA, so that you could deal with it accordingly.
And you do it in a way that you WON'T get caught, but if I did (and I did, eventually, but only after having more than a month of good intel), I simply said "I did it to try to protect my family, and fight for my marriage." I made no apologies.
