Fire's burning out...just smoldering

[blindsided1]

So, the weekend....hmmm.

Saturday, we had K's 1st birthday party. It was a lot of fun. She looked so adorable in her tutu and birthday hat. She had a lot of fun and there were a ton of people. My in-laws came and had a great time, also. I walked my BIL out and I told him that H had told me that he was M'ing OW. My BIL said, "I don't think so". He said all is not perfect in fantasy land. He lives with them and I guess my H isn't all that nice of a guy....really???? Wow, that's hard to believe...NOT! So, H picked K up around 7:30pm. I wouldn't let him come in. When I walked out with her, he was holding his son and the poor baby was crying really hard. I handed him K and said "let's trade". He said "why?". I just said that I wanted to hold him. His response was "really?". So, I held the little boy. He was cute. I shushed him calm. He was quiet...until H took him back and he started crying again....ha ha ha. That made me smirk a little.

Sunday, I went to dinner at in-laws and H came WITHOUT OW. He was fine, but really grumpy and texting OW the whole time. Boy, she has him on a leash. He left early and BIL and I were talking. I said "wow, he's in a great mood." And , BIL said that he is always like that. He's mean to everyone. I told him that all I really wanted was to have a decent R with him as a parent, for K's sake. He told me that he didn't think that would ever happen, because he treats everyone like crap. And, according to H...everything is my fault. MIL also said that she doesn't understand why he treats me so poorly, but she thinks it's because of the guilt he feels. He has to be mean to me to justify the pain he caused me. I just told them that I had worked really hard to forgive him the initial hurt. But, it's hard to forgive someone who constantly calls me names and treats me so badly.
I left it at that. I'm glad I held the baby. It's a step forward and I KNOW it made my H's head spin. I am trying again to be the bigger person. But, this time it is for his son's sake....NOT his.

Hopefully, I won't have to talk to him for a couple weeks. He's not supposed to have visitation again until the 3rd. That would be his first whole weekend. But, I gave him the option to take her on Friday nights only, each week. He's supposed to let me know.