another newcomer - thread #2

[JKL2009]

She is indeed defensive, and she tries to turn it on me as well as say "I know you lie to me and don't tell me things. I know you talked to So-and-So, and she used to be your girlfriend." So there is no doubt she is touchy and defensive and trying to turn it around, but she is also without trust for me. I responded by saying I was willing to be 100% transparent and not contact So-and-So if we reconciled or as a step to do so. Not much of a response from her on that offer.

As for the other part, I too felt this seemed like both a problem and an opportunity. Just don’t know how to seize on the opportunity part. She has dropped some hints like this before. She made a comment about separation not meaning divorce as well, so what that tells me is I need to back off big time and give more space within the sitch now, hard as it is with living together and all.