Smiley, I agree with Puppy. When they do have second thoughts, they need encourgament that "this", the M, can work. They have by no means yet decided. But the seed is planted and that is the first significant indication your "non Dbing is working".
My H ASKED ME back saying "IF the soil is fertile I want us to get back together", he never said " I want us to get back toegther and I will fight against all odds to do it", because he just couldnt say that. When faced with the difficulties of the reconciliation and the reality of the hard choices he had to make, (because I didnt give in) he backed off. He had SAID/ADMITTED he wanted back, HUGE step had been made and still his actions were hesitant and very much dependent on mine (to be honest this is where me and him f@cked up). BTW, he too was stalling divorce proceedings AFTER he had moved out for 14 months. He used the exact same words "why are you in such a hurry?" and couldnt explain why he wasnt when I asked.
So, if she does show with actions that her determination is not as rigid as it was, and you still are willing to give it another try, be smart and not angry about it. Your "power" can be channeled to positive actions and not to "slightly vindictive" actions/words. Think about it.
And I agree with Puppy, tough love can be "practised" together with a softer approach when required. K
