K4D Rising

[K4D]

I do need to read detachment twice a day. I will start doing that. I didn't ask about her birthday. She just started talking about it. I was just polite about it and told her I am glad she had a good time.

I did want to see some of the relatives that were in from out of town as those ones are not against me. But ya, looking back it would have been better had I not said that.

There wasn't much I could have said as far as getting a life. It was getting later, it was Sunday night and I had D7 with me that I needed to take back and get her ready for bed before long.

D7 was very upset about her sister leaving for the week last night. It really bothered her. She doesn't really want to be anywhere without her sister that long. She cried for a while about that. I think what is going on there is she is bonding to her sister as her only stability because of the situation. I think she is very untrusting of anything else right now. Saturday I was telling FaithfulH that D7 asked why mommy wanted to divorce me and then said it makes hers and D11's lives so much harder. That tore me up inside. This coming from a 7 year old. I don't think that she does tell her mom this stuff or ask her because her mom in the past hasn't responded so kindly to these things from the kids. So I'm not sure that her mom really knows what effect this is having on the kids. I know that before D11 had brought some things up and I asked her if she had talked to her mom about it and she said no because of the way she had responded previously.

Anyways, I really tried to comfort D7 and tell her what a fun week she was going to have with her mommy and that on Thursday night when she is back with me we will rent a movie and eat something good and have a good time. But it took her a while to calm down. At one point she wanted to call D11 and talk to her, so I let her and D11 was really good on the phone with her. I think D11 has really just moved into acceptance of this and she has always been somewhat independent anyways. But I think she has accepted that there is nothing she can do about it and is just trying to make her way through things. This is really having an impact on D7 though. I wish W knew just how much of an impact this is having on D7. But I'm not 100% sure she does.

D7 was telling me last night that she doesn't like how my room is set up. She was telling me that her mommy's room is set up with a tv in it and mommy chats on her laptop while rubbing D7's belly to put D7 to sleep. I don't have a tv in my room and I don't bring my laptop in there. But I did rub her belly and she finally fell asleep after much crying and missing her sister already.

W showed up this morning with D11 because apparently D11 hadn't taken all of her clothes with her. So W was not in a good mood. I just now got a text from W saying that D11 was off and gone to camp. I didn't respond.

Here is my question. How long or how many times should I wait or say no before responding to an offer to be around W? A week? A couple of weeks? A month? I know at the minimum I am going to see her every Sunday evening when we switch the kids off. But outside of that is what I am wondering? And I know when we switch the kids off it is better to just do it and leave and not hang around. I can certainly do that.

Kevin