I didnt like the comment your WAW made about "first you lost your family now your job.." Not a good mind set for her. She now sounds more final then before. I agree with your friends about spending time as a family. I dont think that part is working for her. I think she is still "cake eating". I think she comes closer to you when you are more distant.
I also agree with you about your WAW's selfishness. It is very selfish to make a decision that you are not happy and want to walk away from the family. Some situations are bad (Abuse, infidelity, etc...) but unless the communication was there and counseling has been addressed I definitely agree S and D should be the LAST option. Unfortunately in today's INSTANT GRATIFICATION society it's sometimes the first option. Im NOT happy so it must be my marriage. First you need to look in the mirror before you blame it on something else. I think she's played the victim card for TOO long now and it's TIME you just go dark and let her finalize things if that's what she needs to do. She is definitely sending YOU mixed messages and YOUR kids. In other words "Put up or shut up..." She is just playing games IMP.
Im hoping if you give her more space she will truly see what she is doing.
