About 1 1/2 ago my W informed me her feelings had changed and she was not sure what to do. Things did not get better (not worse either) but she started thinking more and more about D. In late summer of last year she wanted to me to move out. I resisted, found this site, and started employing some of the DB techniques. At about this point is when I discovered she was having an EA. I blew up and informed her she would be the one moving out. She was remorseful, ended the EA and seemed interested in working things out. Although it was a roller coaster, we made it through the rest of the year and in general, got along great. In the spring of this year after a fight she informed she wanted a legal separation because things were not getting any better and we needed to do something different. I think it is important to add we have not had an intimate relationship in about 2 years. After some discussion we decided a trial separation would be the best approach, so we figured out a parenting plan for the kids (5 and 7), separated our finances and moved her out a little over a week ago.
I am upset that she has done this, especially because of the kids, but I have tried to stay supportive of her needs. I helped her move out and have even gone furniture shopping with her for her new place-Weird! She is really into buying new stuff for her place and that makes me think she is in this for the long haul, although she is not verbally committing to this situation as being permanent. She has also asked that we have a couple of sleep over nights-her one night at the house and me one night at the apartment. I agreed although in my mind this seems to be confusing the situation. I am doing my best to stay positive but I am wondering if maybe I am being too helpful or supportive and also, if trial separations work or do they just prolong the inevitable? Has anyone been through this kind of thing?
