orchid - I can't imagine how hard this is for you but you are doing very well so far! It's natural to feel angry about his choices, and you can't make sense of what he's saying right now because he doesn't even know! Remember that we're not to believe anything they say right now!
I guess the advice that comes to mind is to fall back on the DB techniques. Be consistent!
Act 'as if' - act happy to see him, fun to be around, no R talk unless he brings it up
Validate - if he wants to D and see where things are in a year, there isn't much you can do about that - for now, validate, "I hear what you're saying, I can see you've been thinking about this" - don't argue or dispute it right now. (who knows if the D will really happen, who knows if you'll even want to try in a year, etc.) For now, just validate.
Be a friend - he's opening up some about what's on his mind - that is good! Just listen like a friend would, and act like a friend would. You can fall apart later but while he's there this is your prime opportunity to show him how marvelous you are!
Yes, it feels like a game and pressing 'reset' is only something that happens in the moves, like that Adam Sandler movie. But this is real - and this is a real chance to act 'as if' and get him thinking about what the heck is he doing.
So validate his thoughts, and in every encounter, act like a friend would. You can do it!
