I think I'm finally getting it. Tell me if I've had my lightbulb moment & this is to Forrest Gump too! Which by the way, I was at my MIL's house today & they mentioned that movie & I thought - I'm friends with that guy on a message board!
Anywho...when you are REALLY & TRULY making your changes, you don't have to worry anymore about - did I do or say the right thing? You just KNOW you did. It's not about doing the right thing anymore "to see if your WAS responds" - you just do it because it feels right & you want to.
For example, for the past few months everytime H says - I'm going out with my friends. I would be biting my tongue & deep down I was mad. Tonight H said I'm going on my friend's boat next week & I said (and meant it) - that sounds like fun! you haven't been out on his boat since last summer, have you? H says no. I said well I bet you guys are going to have a great time. And I actually meant it!
And I don't care about his reaction. He could continue to reject me, and of course that's not what I want & it hurts, but I'm happy for him. I really am.
Tonight I was sitting on the couch with him thinking - yep, I'm over here on my side, going through my journey. And he's over there on the other side, going through his! And I'm happy!
Is this what you guys have been trying to get me to "get"? Please read post above. It's what made me have this revelation.
Since the R.E. at the top had my name on it, I am going to assume that you are asking me ?
That is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I have used this analogy before here, but one more time would never hurt.
I view this as a two-for-one special at the grocery store. HE has a path that he needs to walk, but at the same time, YOU get to make that journey too. YOU get to find yourself at the same time. And at the end of this, whether or not you are still married will not matter to you, because you will be standing strong for your next relationship......and maybe, just maybe, that relationship will be with your present spouse.
One of the greatest gifts one can possibly give their partner is the freedom to find and be themselves. Unbeknownst to him, he is giving you that too.....
Great convo with your friend, but remember, there are NO timelines for this, everyone is different. Hers won't work for you. It takes as long as it takes.
To quote Forrest if I may.....DO WORK
BTW Forrest mutual friend J3B says Hi....
(Wiping tears ) I think our little girl is growing up....
Any good coffee shops out there in western PW ?
I'm always in search of that perfect cup of coffee, and would make that drive....
