a note to my wife

[Dom R]

first, a word to others:
This is a brief note written just to my wife.
If SHE actually decides to reply, then I might also. But otherwise, I do not intend to reply to this.

I am writing this because of a momentous occasion:
Exactly three years ago, you walked out.

After months of horrible arguments over your lies of "Joe and I are just friends", I had finally confronted you with proof positive.

At that point, you were faced with a choice between two things:

A) Try something you have never tried: Take responsibility for the horrible, horrible way you had treated ME for many months; Apologise, break up with your boyfriend, and put in a whooooole lot of work building a good marriage.

or

B) Continue your romance with Joe. Which neccessitated moving out at that point.


Neither choice was exactly "easy". But you chose the path that involved much less work, and much less responsibility, compared to the alternative. You chose the "romantic feel good" path, and moved out.

Are you really that happy with the result?


It's been 3 (4) years now, and you're still following the "romantic feel good" path, over the "responsibility and hard work" path. Just with different guys. Your 6th in 4 years.

Are you happy with the way your life is now?
Are you proud of your life?
Is it something you can happily share with EVERYONE you know?
Or is there something missing from it?

....

It would take a lot of work to clear things up between us. But how about a little "cost/benefit analysis":

It would give you a life that you could be proud of, and not feel the need to hide.
From your family.
From our children.

Is there really anything else, that will give you a bigger sense of personal self-worth, than fixing this horrible mess and giving our children what they most deserve?

No, they dont deserve "a home without their parents arguing".
(you didnt have one of those either!)

They deserve "a home where we work together, to show them how to RESOLVE arguments positively".

...

There's more than one way to get there.

How about you pick one, and give it a try.

You know I dont make promises lightly.
I promise you this, though:
If you pick one, and put ALL your effort into it, without holding back...
After 6 months, you will be happier than you ever thought you could be.

You will be less stressed.
You will sleep better.
and you will have a husband, and children, that 100% support you, each and every day.

.....

happy "anniversary".
thank you again for cooking for father's day, and for the book.