What a lame weekend. I got a lot done, built a new bench for the greenhouse (Power tools are a girls best friend!), went into work for a little while today, there was a big peice of paper in my cubicle on the wall and one on my computer saying that my office had been reserved for someone else who starts 29 june! Its my office! How can it be reserved for someone else?! Its been my office for 2 years! WTH? It was sunday afternoon, so I cant talk to anyone until tomorrow.

I made an appt for the vet to come next weekend to put my dog to sleep. So, when I saw the note in my office I lost it. Bawling in the Fish and Wildlife office. Luckily I was all by myself in there. It was just kind of the straw that broke the camels back.

Im trying to stay upbeat and just spoil my dog rotten for the next week, just enjoy the time we have, but seriously, when H left I was sad, but this is so much more painful. And planning it just makes it seem surreal. I know that this is the time and I dont want her to get sicker, but oh god this is hard.

This has been giving us something to really talk about, to maybe become closer, but honestly, I am so angry with him. If he hadnt done those things he could be here with me supporting me through this. If he wanted to be here for her, then he shouldnt have left us!

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...