update... I hope someone is on here because I am at the end of my rope and dont know what else to do. Here is what happened today. Keep this in mind while reading. Anytime my son and I have an argument of any kind basically he calls his dad and complains how terrible I am. He wants his dad to take his sid.
Today I had an argument with my son. He doesnt work, he has slacked off on SOME of the stuff I ask him to do around the house. He basically sits in his room on the internet and races nascar ALL day or night and sleeps the rest. He talks to his dad alot everyday but doesnt spend time with him but every now and then. (I think his Dad likes it this way). Anyway I told him I am done, the internet goes off. Keep in mine also that my son just turned 19. Well I tried to unhook the internet modem and he basically got in front of me and blocked me and wouldnt let me do it. He kept saying he was sorry. I had made up my mind. He is stronger than me so there was kinda a pushing match at one point. AND at one point during the argument he drew back and ACTED like he was going to hit me. I stood my ground and let him have it verbally, I tried the calm thing, didnt work. He said he was sorry and he never would ever hit me, he tries to bluff. During all this taking place he was talking to his dad on Nextel 2-way (walkie talkie kinda for those who dont know). NOW this is where it gets interesting. His dad told his son to "just get away from me" "that he NEVER would understand us people over here" "that NOT to put him (dad) in the middle". Basically he stands behind son. My son of course is trying to make it seem like I am crazy, that his dad doesnt know what he goes through living in this house. (believe me when I say, he has it made, he doesnt do anything more than what I said, other than pick up the house every now and then...which is good...but in no way does he have it rough). The point I am trying to get across and get advice on is... First of all, NOW this just validates the reason why my xh left. I KNOW this is probably the main reason. Our son has been spoiled and it is BOTH our faults. BUT now that xh is out of the house he thinks he doesnt have to deal with it. Should he??? I think he should, even though son is 19, he is living with me and he is disrespectful to me. Doesnt cuss me, but talks to me loudly and awful. (and where would he get that. hmmmmm). I have told son he is going to live with his DAD, no choice on the matter! Even if for a short time. Until son gets a job and gets out on his own, or if he works, he can stay here WHILE helping me out. BUT he has to have a job and help around the house. When I said this he got on the phone with dad and said tell her you are getting me a job, of course dad says yep. His dad has said this and said this, I dont believe nothing he says anymore. I made son let me have the phone and told xh that son disrespects me and puts his finger in my face and he needs to talk to son about it. What did xh tell me???? Well...he said "Give my son his phone back, I pay for that phone, DO NOT grab it out of his hand again"...in front of son he said this. I am at the end of my rope, I dont know what to do. How in the world can I stay away from xh and let me go through MLC or whatever he is doing, when everytime my son and I argue, he gets on the phone to his dad and complains about me. Like I said this is probably the main reason my xh left and when son does this, it just validates why he left. If xh would just only say to out son to NOT disrespect me and back me up. Xh told son "I dont know if you can live with me or not" and why would he let him, when he is running from me and son to begin with? XH doesnt want to have to deal with what I am dealing with. I can NOT physically remove my son and I dont want to have to call the law to help remove him to xh's. I love son and just wish he would grow up. I know this is OUR fault, but I ALONE am now paying for it. XH is off in his own little world and doesnt want to be bothered.
Sandi, I dont have family much, but my aunt lives here in town. My mom is deceased and my dad lives in Ohio. My xh is NEVER going to be left alone to deal with his own problems because son keeps calling him when something is wrong. My xh is ALWAYS going to think he made the best choice. What in the world am i to do? I cant make my xh work with me on this, I am on my own. BUT when I try to deal with it, son calls dad and here we go again. When son does this, I try to make xh understand, but I am wasting my breath...or so I feel. Advice please someone?
