I think you should insist on it. Yes, she has at least one personality disorder, maybe more than one. If she wants to remain your wife, she needs to get healthy.
Women quite often go off the scale 'madness ' wise about 6 months after having a baby. For most women it's due to hormones and post natal depression. I can already feel your W working up to the mother of all 'breakdowns'. Buy your tin hat now.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I do not believe for one instance she will abort this baby.
Whatever makes you think that Saffie? She has shown herself to be capable of just about every other depravity imaginable. I just don't know how to answer the other question about her being my wife. Right now I accept that I don't love her (how could I after she had unprotected sex with another man whilst pregnant with my child?) - although at times I might think I do.
Very lost and bewildered today. I hope it passes before too long.
What on earth would this OM think of her if she were to do that? I would run from a woman whom I knew had done such a thing to be with me; it shows just how much she is prepared to degrade herself ... or as you and Sara think, she is genuinely unhinged.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
The reason I say that I think it unlikely your W will abort the baby is for two main reasons.
The first one is her age. Her fertility is going to take a big nose dive from now on....and am I dreaming or has someone mentioned that she has miscarried before? Also, as soon as she starts feeling that babay move inside her it won't matter WHO the father is....it is HER child.
Secondly, she would be looking at what is starting to be termed a fairly late stage termination. None of your pop a tablet and it's all over, or we knock you out and you wake up and it's all gone. She is starting to look at having to have a proper labour in order to deliver the unborn baby- even if it is euthanised first. The number of clinics that are willing to do that to a health baby, with a healthy mother, from a family that can support the child financially, at this stage are going to get fewer and fewer as each day goes past. If there were a defect with the baby that would cause long term suffering to the child or financial hardship to the family, as I understand it , a pregnancy can be terminated at ANY time. That also is the case I believe if the mother's health is in danger at any time. Other than that, the longer the pregnancy is the harder it becomes to obtain a termination even if it is within legal time limits.
If she had intended getting rid of this child....if it was a true mistake....she would have done it much sooner than this.
To be honest GH, your life would be much simpler if she had never told you of the pregnancy and had just teminated it. Now you are going to be tied to her forever. On the other hand- there is nothing in this world as great as your own child. I have been blessed with four....and I nearly miscarried the third, ( they think now I was having twins and I lost one of them). They are what makes my life worth living. They are the glue that helped bind me to my H when he I found out about his A. Once you have children you are never really separated from the other parent.
Just as a by the by. We have never had paternity tests done on any of our children. It just wasn't something one did and my H had never had any reason to doubt the kids were his BUT he did one day say, when we were discussing what a tenuous thing trust is, that he has always trusted that our four children are his. He said that I KNOW they are mine....but he has taken that on trust. Based on your W's history I wouldn't take ANYTHING on trust apart from the fact that she will put her own interests first. Because of that I think she intended this pregnancy and she will not terminate it. It will give her a permanent hold over you whilst she continues to play games with OM. Will she stay....will she go.....will she leave GH holding the baby waiting her return.....the variations are limitless. Your W hasn't got the guts to go through a late stage termination; well, I would be VERY surprised if she had.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
......and another thing. The attention your W is getting from you two guys fighting over her is a drug. Just look at what happens when one of you takes that attention away. OM told her it was over and to stay away.....and it makes her chase him; now if that isn't the action of an addict then what is? learn from that GH.
You are too readily available to your W and you show her too much you care. Sara and I have been telling you that for ages and you know that it's true. Look at how jealous your W got at you having that other ladies no. in your phone. You need to go through the local directory and add a few no's......doesn't matter that you don't know the people.....just get that W of yours thinking. Don't even mention the numbers....just add them.
Stop paying her so much attention. YOU are worth so much more. And quit meeting her places and picking her up. be too busy to meet her for lunch. Stop letting your life revolve around her.
If need be contact OM and see what he thinks. Also if your W had unprotected sex with OM then make sure both you and she go get checked out. Syphallis can cause a child to be born blind if it has a vaginal delivery. Your W is a very stupid, selfish, woman.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
So good to hear from you again - you, Sara and Phoenixdeux are my rocks, believe me.
I had quite an evening last night. I got home before W and had dinner with her dad. Then W came in barely saying a word - after about ten minutes I went into our bedroom and found her crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I'm just a bit emotional". I didn't draw her any further on what it was and she went for a shower.
I got into bed and W wasn't there, at 9pm she had gone into the spare room to sleep. I asked why and she said "she neeeded to catch up on some sleep ... blah blah".
Then at around 4am I heard her switch her mobile phone on and she received a text - I marched into the room and asked "who's texting you at this hour of the day?" picked up the phone and saw a bunch of SMSs from OM.
The SMSs went along the lines of I'm ending this on my own terms, I'm with [new girl's name] now, you should have thought about that last year when I was begging you to come back, you weren't ever going to divorce him, I would be in constant fear of you leaving again, I have thought about your pregnancy and I don't want you to kill your baby, I couldn't live with that etc..". W wasn't happy that I had checked her phone but I don't give two ****s. I really am beyond caring.
She left home early this morning, saying she was going to work early etc. but I know full well what she'll be doing - trying to call OM and get a fix. Whatever did I see in her?
At the moment I can't even look at her and in a way I was glad she went to sleep in the other room.
Quote:
Also, she has told all her family she is pregnant whilst at the christening
The pregnancy was announced over a month ago but family members who haven't seen her for a while were congratulating her. Saffie, the very thought of having sex with my wife right now makes my blood run cold.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
One man wasn't enough, she had to have two. Now she has none. Hmmm, maybe that's why everyone else is satisfied with just one!
Show her that she has none. Do not bail her out of her mess. She made it. It is entirely of her doing. I think moving out is a very good plan. It is her father's house. Let her family take care of her. But make sure they know the truth. Because that is most certainly not the story she will tell them. She will paint you as the bad guy who abandonned her. Deal with her father. Not her. She needs counseling. She will never make a good mother to a child unless she gets help.
