mlj - thanks for checking on me. I had actually taken my kids and gone on a little vacation last week while my H had been out of town. We had a GREAT time and it was nice to be away from home and able to go long stretches of time without thinking about everything. He did manage to call us at least once every day we were all out of town to check in and we actually had some really good conversations. I let the kids call him once but otherwise he initiated all phone calls.
I am struggling since we all got home from being out of town because of the whole confusion issue. A lot of the time now he "seems" so normal and reacting to me normally and then something strange comes up. Again, I am having to get back into the whole detaching thing and try to remember "baby steps."
I also am not sure if there is an OW in the picture. I don't have proof either way but my gut tells me that there may have been a "friendship" going on that has stopped or at least diminished greatly. Again, I am not so naive that I don't think that I could be way off here.
I just couldn't believe your second post the other day, though, about the porch lights. Seriously, that is a question that has been going through my head for awhile now - whether to leave the lights on - so it was eerie (in a good way though) that you wrote that! I can see the porch lights from my window and he turns them off when he comes in so I know when he gets in. I KNOW that is not detaching and that I should turn them off like you suggested but that has been hard for me to actually do. He has not been staying out much until crazy hours lately, though. I am almost always up when he comes in now. Maybe I should try it and see what happens. Interestingly, he almost always at least sticks his head in my (so hard for me not to say "our") bedroom to let me know he is in or get something or see if I am awake or whatever before heading downstairs, no matter what time
I am learning daily more and more how to make the joy of the Lord my strength.:)
