Well, kids went to breakfast with their F this am. which i don't know if it would have happened if I didn't call their F and remind him that while it wasn't his weekend with them, it is F day. I lied and told him the kids had plans. Then I talked to the kids and I guess they pulled something together. While I thought to do it all, H suggested that I call their F and remind him to check with the kids. Big step for him.
The day was good. H helped me around the house and called his sons. Neither answered -what surprised me was that he did reach out to the one who is still actively drinking. We just learned that SIL will either sell or foreclose on his home Tues. can't reach him. I feel so bad for his exw and kids. He also has to come up with a lot of money for settlement, seems he refinanced the house and spent it all on his drinking. Heard that current girlfriend's parents might put up the money (SIL has been living at their place since last fall when GF thought living in the house alone was causing his drinking.) Too much for me!
H and I had a few "deja vu " moments this weekend, and talked through them pretty well. When I went to conference yesterday I worried all day, kept checking my phone etc because of past behavior. When I got home he was quiet and I thought the worst because that was his old behavior - being quiet when angry that I had fun without him. Instead he was trying new behavior of letting me talk about my day first instead of monopolizing me the minute I returned.
Today he brought up a question about money when he moves back in. It sounded like the old H - questioning the budget and how I spend our money. Instead he asked a question, listened to my reasoning and agreed with me. Reminded me that he just had a question, but wasn't questioning my decision.
For those in the AAprogram, I heard the discussion with his sponsor last night and I swear I would be drinking myself if someone talked to me that way and showed no understanding of what I needed. H and sponsor are disagreeing about his attendance going down from everyday to four times a week. Is that something to argue about? It isn't like he is drinking or sitting around when not at a meeting - he is keeping busy and doing a lot for himself.
