I called and left a msg. Saturday for the attorney, to tell him I needed an appt. hopefully this week.
I leave in about 90 minutes for a 2 day teacher training conference 3 hours from here...get back late on Tuesday night.
Anyway Dan asked me last night not to meet with the attorney until he talks with the pastor (I told him I had left a msg with attorney to set an appointment). Dan doesn't know that I know about the cash withdrawal in Kansas City, or that he makes what he makes...
Awesome day! Church this morning with kids/Dan. Kids sermon mentioned that dads model to their kids how to treat their moms with love and respect...
Regular sermon ended with a section about how anyone can go to church, get baptized, etc, but if you do not have a time where you stop walking in the wrong direction, turn around, and walk the RIGHT direction, you will be lost even if you claim to be a Christian... hmm... loved it!
Then came back, was home with Dan for about 15 minutes. Kids gave him their fathers day cards. Sydney asked me to write in hers that she wanted daddy to be the prince and come to her ball. nathan wrote in his, "I want to be just like you daddy." Dan bawled when he read them! Then Nathan chose to get him a replacement of a figuring that Nathan broke last year. It was a man and woman sitting together holding a newborn baby. I think "Willow Tree" is the brand. Anyway I got it for Dan as my way of telling him I was pregnant with Sydney. Nathan accidentally broke it. So he picked out a new one and gave it to him today. Dan opened it, took it out of the box, and cried again!
Then, I left! Went out to lunch with my parents, sister, and nieces. Then my sis and I took our dad out for 9 holes of golf.
Forgot to mention I went out last night and bought myself a set of Ladies Maxfli clubs, never had a full set before always borrowed Dan's. So he was checking out my clubs this morning after church and was impressed I picked good ones...I played crappy but I am an awesome chipper! I can drive well and chip well but suck in between the two, always slice and it goes right...
Gotta go shower and pack! Two days by myself, yay! Oh, guess I should actually GO to the conference while I am there! Think I will take my clubs, either golf tomorrow night or rent a bike and go for a ride...
Today was a pretty great day! one bad thing but it didn't happen to me and actually opened up my afternoon...
I am out of town for a teacher's conference 3 hrs from home. The hotel having the conference is situated on a giant lake, and has its own waterpark as well. I am staying in a different hotel but drive to the nice one for meetings.
This morning we had our sessions, then got bag lunches. I walked down the bike/hike path to a lighthouse and sat on a bench by the water to eat. Lovely!
Then my afternoon session was canceled after I got there. The man presenting collapsed in front of the doors to the conference room. He had a heart attack and could not feel anything!?! Never heard of that, with a heart attack. Anyway he had to be airlifted to a bigger city for immediate surgery...
This left me with the entire afteroon free. So I went back to my hotel and changed to workout gear. Went back to the lake and rented a bike. Went on an 11-mile ride around the lake. then came back and got a day pass to the waterpark. Spent the afternoon lounging by the pool. Got a good tan and exercise!
Went back to my room, cleaned up, and went back to the fancy hotel. had dinner in their restaurant overlooking the lake. Then sat outside again until dark. I was reading this evening. got a book called "Boundaries in Marriage".
I am learning so much about how I did not enforce boundaries/communicate boundaries so much of the time. and how he did not respect the ones I had, in a lot of cases b/c I did not enforce them! And how I rescue him so much of the time. He never has to really feel the consequences for his choices. so why change? Anyway that doesn't let him off the hook for all the terrible things he has said and done. but it empowers me to take backcontrol of myself and my life even more.
It has been so great this summer to figure out what I like, who i am. Planning and arranging for the landscape company to come and put in the flower garden and patio that I want to have. doing Relay for Life b/c it was important to me. Getting my own golf clubs and golfing without Dan. Even renting the bike today and tooling around by myself for 90 minutes. Feels so good to make my own decisions without trying to please anyone else. That sounds a little selfish as I write it, but I know it is a good thing for me to do.
I think we circle and go our own completely different paths (and not really different), thousands of miles away from each other, but we both end up to the same destination/conclusion: we both didnt take care of US as needed in the past. And finding out there is LIFE that can be sweet and rewarding without involving Dan, H and their actions.
Boundaries... I think I will check out that one. Wonder how messed up I was during my marriage in this field as well
Anyway, enjoy your "you-time" and recharge the batteries. xxx K
He is paying me 27% of his take-home per month right now. So I am living with two kids on 3K/mo and he has 8K to play with???
I know it, sister. My XH makes $12.5k per month, gives me $2400 per month, of which half will be gone in just a few years, and has another wage earner in the household with whom to share expenses. Support and my salary makes life fine, but it still irks me. Me staying home benefited him and the kids much more than me. (But I do realize I was lucky to have those years.)
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Crazy busy, Mish. Sorry I haven't checked in on anyone but no time lately!
Today we got up, went up for karate practice, then out for lunch, then met my uncle with his grandkids (my cousins) to all go to Omaha Children's Museum.
Then drove back down to our town, stopped for groceries, mowed front yard, am feeding kids then out the door for swim lessons in seven minutes, yikes!
After swim lessons I have to get them home and changed out of swim gear, get in my karate gear. Take them to my parents' so I can go to my 8:15 karate lesson.
I have been going nonstop since 8 this morning and won't have time to sit until somewhere around 10 pm.
So busy, but good busy! Will update on Dan status later...not much changed
with love and respect...
