Sandi, would you have waved? What sould I have done? What should I do if I pass them again or run into them and he sticks out his head in protection mode (so to speak)?
Not sure what you mean by sticking out his head in protection mode. Maybe it's one of those things where I had to be there and see it? I think the best way is to ignore him and although it is not your nature, you probably need to look the other way so he won't think you're "stalking him" or that you are even a bit interested in what he does.
If that had happen to me, I would have been talking and laughing with my passenger and acted as if he was the very last thing on my mind. No, I would not have waved....even if I had looked right at him. The point is to have your life so full with other people and other things going on until it doesn't "register" in your mind to thow your hand up and wave to him. Especially since the R is like it is presently. Someday, your confidence will be stronger and you can treat him like the stranger he's become, but at this point, don't even worry or think twice "if" you should have waved or not.
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b/c the longer he goes without actually seeing you.....the more interesting it may become when he does lay eyes on you.
What I am referring to here is the "dropping the rope" and moving on with your life. You must remember that this all takes time for him to get his head out of the fog and his focus off the OW long enough to see daylight! He's not going to realize anything for a long time b/c of the condition he is in. However, the longer he goes without seeing you, the much better it is. I say that b/c of more than one reason. First, it give "time" to do a bit of healing and for him go get over some of his anger issues he has with you. Although, if the OW is constantly feeding him a bunch of BS, then it will take him even longer than the norm. Secondly, after he's had some time for the anger to die down, then hopefully, he will begin to miss you. Again, not knowing this OW and how she opperates....it's hard to speculate about some things, so bear that in mind. Having "time" to do work in healing some anger problems and even some levels of the MLC, and having time to miss you....then when he "does" run into you for a second or maybe a few minutes......seeing you will hopefully bring back all the "right" emotions he should have for you in his heart and not the negative one.
Yes, this does happen or I would not tell you that. However, I keep stressing how it takes much, much "time" and even though it seems like an eternity to you, it has not been a drop in the bucket for him. If he reacted in a negative way by getting a glimpse of you in the car......then he is not ready to see you at all and not for a long time, yet.
It's not that I am trying to discourage you, sweetheart, but neither do I want you to be set up for disappointment, either. Remember, it takes some people as long as five years to pull out of MLC. He may marry this OW in that length of time. He could do any number of things. A lot depends on how much influence she has over him.
That is just another reason why you can't wait in the wings, holding your breath, hoping against hope that he will wake up tomorrow and come knocking on your door asking to forgive him and take him back. It won't be tomorrow. It may be three to five years from now, but who knows what kind of mess he may be in by then? You can't put your life in the deep freeze trying to wait to see what he does. Besides, if you are worried that he may get another court order against you........then I suggest you stay as far away from him as you can. You probably said, and I can't remember, but does your family live there or is there any reason why you could not move to a near by town? Not to suggest he run you out of town, but who needs that kind of treatment and a threat of another court order by just passing him in a car? Just a thought.
What all did you do over the weekend?
Talk to you later, Sandi
Have you seen or heard this happen? Interesting in what way you think? Thank you again Sandi, (Mom)
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
