As the LBS and the primary wage earner, I feel and struggle with exactly the same anger that you were feeling when you wrote. My W is not being very aggressive in her walking away, but her opinions and beliefs about what a "fair" separation / divorce would be are frightening and make me angry.
Exactly as you describe, the WAS (WAW) would like to walk away and maintain
- Almost full custody of the kids ("I am, after all", said she, " their primary caretaker" "You don't need to be superdad - you can see them on the weekends")
- Possession of the home we chose, and I remodeled with my own hands ("It's the best for the kids" said she, "You wouldn't want to disrupt them")
- Half of my savings, assets, and future earnings ("Just because you have a career and I haven't worked" she said, "Doesn't mean it's your money. We split it all 50/50, that's how it works"
This leaves the WAW with a house, salary to support her without having to work, unlimited time to spend with her kids, and someone to watch the kids for her on the weekends when she want's to go out with her new love life.
This leaves the LBS living and starting over, forced to work hard and live on half of his income, panicked of the prospects of layoffs, etc which could reduce his income, and only able to see his kids on the weekends or otherwise at the whim of WAW.
This is the panic, worst case scenario that FB2 was describing. I also understand his anger at the courts, because in defending the W's ability to leave a controlling or abusive M, they seem to set up the ability of a WAW to walk away with all the benefits and leave the LBH carrying the burden - in effect punishing the LBH when it is the WAW who refused to stay.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
