Wow I really have to change the title of this thread! Back to the old chicken & the egg analogy. That was wrong. Detachment comes first HAS to. Happiness comes after. True change first, true happiness after. Detachment = unconditional love.

Galatians 5:22-23 The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness & self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Paul lists the fruits of the Spirit in a logical progression. The reason that joy follows love is that love governs joy. Anyone who lives a life full of love will be joyful. W/O love there can be no joy. Joy exists in, never out of, loving relationships.

ok so I just answered my own question.

Me 36, Him 33
M 11yrs, T 15yrs
S 8, D 7
ILYBINILWY - 1/09
H moves out 10/09
D to be final SOON I HOPE!