Things are doing pretty well. Yesterday was a year post-D, and it wasn't terrible. Wrapped up the day with students, cleaned my room, went to my women's group to talk about "the ground where you sow your seeds." Just got back from a trip into NYC for a play my cousin was in.
I am SO looking forward to this summer!! I can't emphasize that enough. I put in long hours in the last month or two of work, and can't wait for things to ease (only one or two days over the summer of work).
My studio is DONE!!! The painting is complete, and it looks incredible. I picked a warm beige that matches with everything, and can't wait to decorate. I'm not worrying about the floor right away, so I can paint and make a mess to my heart's content this summer while I think about what I want. Other work on the house is coming along, too. I'm having a deck built around the studio into the garden (which is also being completely renovated), and trying to decide on what to do with the pool. The garbage dump was removed, remember, and now I have to see if I should either 1) fill it in, 2) gunite, 3) liner, 4) fiberglass drop-in form, or 5) fill it in part-way and sit an above-ground pool partially into the hole.
X is set to complete the A/C work on 7/11, almost a year past the agreement date, but at least it will get done. There has still been some drama that I do my best to stay above about the holiday schedule, him thinking there are still things here at the house that belong to him, him getting the kids excited about stuff before he asks me about it, but it goes through email for the large part. Had a rather decent phone convo of about 15 minutes with him last week, though. I know now that he will never apologize for anything that happened, that he will blame me for any inconvenience or hardship that he experiences in his life (did you know I am the cause of all the east coast rain?), and I just don't care anymore. It's just the way it is. I still frustrate the he!! out of him when I just don't roll on what he wants, anymore (like trading a leaky 96 pop-up camper for the $12,000 hot tub! Um, NOT!) He wants to take S13 to a Yankee game on 7/1, and I said that instead of driving all the way north only to have to drive all the way back, maybe I would take the kids to the Bronx Zoo during the day and he could pick him up from there. He said that he'd like to spend some time with us at the zoo, too (!), and I said that we might as well, that it would be good for the kids if we could work a way to be around each other with and for the kids, so we'll see what comes of that.
I still have to say, I can't believe the rabbit hole this whole thing has been. And I finally feel like I have come back to being me, again. I can't explain it, except to say that I am at peace, feeling normal, getting excited about things in my life again.
Tired, so off to bed. Tomorrow is looking promising...
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