Peace, thank you so much. I am back in hospitalband I am writing this from my bed but I have written long response under sandis place in the piecing thread. If any of you get a chance to read it and offer feedback I would be very grateful. May god bless you and keep you in the palm of his hand I x
I, Hope you are feeling better soon. Please take a deep breath and realize it's not you, but him that has the problem.
I read your postings over on Sandi's thread...her responses were excellent and she's right...the script is used by all of them. It's the depression talking and until the fog lifts, the script will be used. It's nothing personal towards you, but it's the way he perceives the world and how he's thinking right now. He's lashing out at the world and most especially towards you. Why? Because you are the closest to him and he thinks it's you holding him back.
I, this is his journey. So, while he's traveling on the ship of fools, you take this time and make your own journey. Your journey will be all about self awareness and independence. You will have to dig deep for patience and compassion and will have to strengthen your back bone so that what he's saying or doing will not affect your health. You will have to be the adult here and take care of your little girl. It's a very difficult journey esepcially when children are involved.
Please, please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks snodderly, I am always so grateful for your wisdom and experience. My health is certainly worrying me now. They are doing further tests but nothing is conclusive as yet so it's frustrating as the pain is bad. I know the truth in what you are saying, we are both on our journeys.I am wanting my health and happiness and my little girl. I am staying strong, the backbone thing is true as is the adult thing. I can't control what he does, only myself. Will write more later, doc is here I x
Hi everyone it's nearly five in the morn here in Ireland andhave just woken up. I miss my old h the first thing when I wake up and the last thing before I go to sleep. Does he ever remember me and think about our m? Sometimes I feel so despondent, I want to let go and let god but I am finding it difficult, not entirely sure how to do it. My h knows I am in hospital. Not one phone call or text to see how I am. He has has our d since Friday and hasn't bothered to get her to ring me even though I have asked him four or five times. He is shocking in not being in anyway the man who has loved me and married me. He is seeing our d thank god which I am grateful for. I am the person that has to be deleted. How have others dealt withvthis deletion? The ow? I know that the op is irrelevant but it's hard when they are choosing them above you and your history, both good and bad. I wish I didn't feel like I can't compete but I do. Thanks for everyone help, I do appreciate it I x
I It just takes time to heal from it all at first it is a great shock--that these men we lovede just "deleted Us" they shutdown it is all about them and the crises..not us thats why they seem so different but the only thing I can say is take care of your self you will get to the other side it is a painful process but the pain eases with each passing day and maybe there is no way to get out of it except to go theu it the pain and know it will pass and joy, compASSION, PEACE AND LOVE will come back greater than before peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Thanks peace, your words of wisdom mean a great deal at this time. I am feeling a little better as the day progresses. I need to put this in gods hands now. If I let my h go and he returns we are meant to be, if he doesn't return then he doesn't love me enough, and I would only want someone in my life who does. I will continue to stand but to live my life in the best possible way, that is all I can do. I x
I hope that you are feeling a bit better today. Peace has given you very good advice. They rub us out of their lives for a period of time, but let's face it, memories do surface periodically, especially at night and special holidays.
I'm sorry he hasn't rung you since you've been in the hospital, but he's running on empty. He has nothing to give in the way of support; because truthfully, he can't even take care of himself emotionally w/all of the bouncing around w/his emotions. You are far better off if he doesn't ring you if he's an emotional mess. As for your daughter, he could work it out so that she called, but he's selfish right now.
Any news as to when you will be released? Once you are home, you will need to turn this over to God completely. The stress of trying to hold on is messing w/your body. Stress can play out in so many ways that we aren't aware of. Go to your garden...work in it... and learn to sit quietly and allow things to drop in your lap. This will happen only when you turn everything over to God. Do what you must to protect you and your daughter, but in regard to your h....he's in God's hands now.
Dear snodderly, I am about to leave hospital to go home and rest. I am looking forward to it to being in my garden and having my little girl and mum with me. My h rang and left a message this morn not to see how I am but to apologize for not getting our d to ring me. My mum had questioned him earlier on this and he says he forgot. I am not angry. Just relieved in a way that it us now truly in gods hands I can fight this no more. I need to kind myself. I miss him but I need to think of me more now and my little girl. Thankyou so much snodderly. You have given me hope and support. Thank you. I x
I'm very pleased to see that you are getting ready to go home. Home to a pleace of peace and quiet, a beautiful little girl, a mother who loves you, and a lovely garden. Those are the things that you have that are so very precious and valuable in today's society. You are far wealthier than you think w/these gifts. They are the gifts that no one can take away from you.
I'm glad your h finally rang you up. Forget? I don't think so, but then again, their little minds only work on one thing at a time, i.e., during this crisis, they can't multi-task. They've not grown up enough to know how to do this.
Yes, it is time to be kind to yourself and put your focus on your little girl. God will watch over you. Take care of yourself and get the much needed rest that you now need.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I have what I hope will be one of my last court cases with my H today; safety order, access and maintenance (he is still refusing to pay me any).He will fight very nasty.He is unrecognisable to me and my family. I have just got out of hospital and I am so debilitated, I am not sure how much more I can cope with. I am truly living in a nightmare. My D7 was extremely upset last night and I don't know what I can do. Sandi; I have posted a few responses on your thread, if you have a chance to look.......peace and snodderly, thanks for your support. I feel so alone here. I x
