Carolyn was fantastic! She was lecturing on her new book, Defying Gravity. Left me with a lot of thoughts. I am very familiar with many in this area and have learned many skills myself. I have read all her books. Carolyn M would classify me as a mystic with many mystical experiences. H was involved in a spiritual search and then had an awakening this past year which helps a lot. He is also in IC. He respects his sponsor, but feels that working fulltime in a stressful job, going to IC, church, and meetings and working out, and seeing me is a lot on his plate. He reads daily, and is working on managing his stress. I think he is doing a good job. His IC thinks he is working very hard and will ok not doing meetings daily. H attends about 4 meetings, church, IC, gym 3 times a week, and calls his sponsor daily.
Sponsor is 30 years into sobreity and connected to Bill W himself. Very AA and not keen on therapy. Defects h has are a result of prior wounds that he never recovered from, but is now doing that work. Defects related to his drinking he is slowly catching through the readings and meetings.H used to be anger and fearful all the time, now he is happy for the first time, he is peaceful, overcoming his fears, and caring about others. All good.
I know a lot about A, and went to alanon a few months two years ago to learn more. H has been trying to stop for four years. This is his longest time and what convinces me of his sincerity is the emotional growth i see and hear daily. He doesn't argue, he thinks things through, he is resolving things and no longer a hermit.
I mentioned things I am learning about how A affected him, and us, because I am surprised that he can take the responsibility that he has and put learning to good use. I believe that people are often living in recovery from life, and so that concept is growing for me as well. I have learned much more compassion for my H and others. I am learning a lot about myself, and H is helping me with his feedback. I actually feel relief now.
I am aware that this takes time and work, H has proved to me that his sobriety is important and the M is important, and what better way to tell someone how you feel about them. H also expresses appreciation for my not giving up on him. He couldn't do that before.
