True Love or True Fog? Changing Forums

[Silver Fox]

Thanks Brokenhearted and Pearl,

No B, what you said was not too harsh and I appreciate your encouragement. I was indeed completely dark all last fall and most of the winter. Then I changed to the MLC forum and was advised that one should never go all dark on an MLC man. Someone even suggested I leave his favorite snack by the aquarium when he came over to fill it. Really? Boy was I ever confused then!

But then we had mediation in March and things started picking up. I was finally strong enough to talk with him without emotion and I felt the "shift". I began working in earnest on my terms for the big D, much to H's chagrin. It's not exactly what he expected. Oh well.

AND NOW THIS: Last Sunday morning at 6 a.m. H calls me:

H - I'm on my way to the hospital. I think I have appendicitis.
M - Are you driving?
H - Yes
Me - By yourself?
H - I'm driving my truck.
Me - Why are you driving BY YOURSELF???
H - It's a long story. (nice move OW)

So, we call back and forth all day. I called his mom and sister. He finally has surgery that night. All went well. He calls me when he first wakes up - very groggy and apparently very alone. I never did find out why he drove himself to the hospital.

But there's more to the story still. I sent an email Saturday night - a little sterner this time. Explaining why I felt I had to ask for his retirement fund and that I didn't appreciate him threatening me with bankrkuptcy. Because he was sick all that night he didn't see this email until he returned from the hospital Monday night.

Tuesday morning he calls in an absolute crying, raging, apparently about to hit rock bottom state. He's in pain of course from the appendectomy which adds to the drama of the call:

"I can't take this anymore. I don't have job, I've lost my health insurance. I can't pay for this surgery. I can't keep imposing myself here (meaning living with OW). I'm getting it from all sides (not sure what this meant). I've tried to be nice (so his niceness has been fake?) and now you want all my retirement which will leave me penniless!!!

I guess I did the right thing just letting him rant. I didn't argue with him. I told him I could not have a conversation with him in the state he was in and he needed to go back to bed and focus on healing first. I repeated this several times.
His crying was very unsettling to hear. Eventually he just hung up. I can't even remember what was said at the end.

For better or for worse (ha) I sent an email that night.
"All issues aside - please let me know how you're doing. I'm worried about you".

No response. Complete darkness from him now. So I sit and wait and pray that the OW has enough sense to take care of him at least as well as she takes care of her cats. I will not call or email again.