Well, if it were me and given the history, I would have been ticked about the Internet stuff. She has never been stable enough IMHO since the other problem and she would be too tempted to fall into an area she doesn't need to be in.

The part about the FIL and her not talking, etc., is unfortunately like a lot of women. She was being spiteful toward you by not alerting you of the trip to ER and she knew exactly what she was doing and yet was waiting on you to ask questions about FIL first. It is adult games that the sexes play and it is stupid. As long as my H and I have been M, I have to fight myself to not play stupid games when I get mad.

I'll have to say that I have been very proud of us and how we have improved since I had the EA and all that trouble back then. You know, Lan, for a long time when my H was backing off and giving me space and time to get my act together (so to speak) I wondered at times if he was even going to "try" at putting forth any effort b/c I couldn't see anything coming from him and if you are familiar with my story...that was one of my major grips was that he didn't "work" at the R like I had all those years. However, the one thing that both of us has improved upon is when I get angry at him for something....instead of not talking and burrying that anger inside of me....I try to wait until I can calmly talk and then approach him to tell him that I did not appreciate how he spoke to me (or whatever the situation was). So far, we have been able to talk it out and that is when I see him putting forth a bigger effort to try to make things good between us. In the past, he would have sulled up and not said a word! Even if I had talked until I was blue in the face....he would have sat there and not talked it out, so I hope that he will continue to do what he is doing now b/c then I can get over my hurt/anger and he can also and we move on and both of us are okay again.

I don't blame you at all for what you are feeling and it really ticks me off at your W to act like that. How can you be supportive while she is doing that? I hope it won't take the two of you as long as it took us to finally find a middle ground. You know her and what works best. You've also been on the board long enough to know if something "isn't" working that you need to try a different approach.

Hope you have a great Father's Day, Lan!

Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!