"You are moving on to a healthier, wiser, stronger and richer place for yourself."
Really? I don't believe that's a valid argument to make D more palatable in general. It may be valid in cases of planned temporary separation with intent to improve the marriage. When you've lost half your time with the precious kids and their lives are potentially messed up, the family is broken, there is so much wasted as a result of divorce? When you are deprived of half your assets including half your retirement and future earnings and your WAW is off living with or having sex with OMs? When all this is done with intent and finality and often with stupidity and an awareness of how hurtful it is? Why choose to be: (1) unhappily married or (2) divorced when there was always a much better path which the WA chose to repeatedly ignore? I don't buy the suing at all! It may be permitted by man's law but its certainly not God's law. It's a very brutal and destructive act and reflects a certain lack of respect for life and basic understanding of what marriage and family was intended to be. Sorry, I'm getting sick of this "validating" and rationalization approach. If WAW's weren't so "rewarded" for their actions they would choose the 3rd option much more frequently. People are having affairs and MLC's and doing all sorts of nonsense and are not "at fault" for it; they are actually rewarded for it. Sorry I simply do not agree with validating people who file for D for stupid or selfish reasons. Divorce is willful, state sponsored destruction!!! The best some of us can do for ourselves is forgive the WA and the legal system in order to keep our sanity. But what continues to go on remains plain wrong and there needs to be much better awareness of this.
fb2- Minus the religious segment, I really feel/have felt your post. I think we all have or we wouldn't be on this site.
But, it seems the only way to prove ourselves right and WAS wrong, would be for we LBSs to make sure that we and our children are ultra-f*cked up and miserable so that we exhibit to the WAS the destructiveness of their behavior.
I hate the idea that the kids and I thriving without H might elicit some "see I told you we'd all be better off" but the alternative is unacceptable...the freedom comes from letting them think whatever they want and do whatever they want with their own lives. That is the path that validating trains us for...in the years to come the multitude of moments that could bring us to our knees, our strength is in coping and living, loving, laughing in spite of it all.
I just don't see how I can be happy with my bitterness and judgment in my back pocket. I don't see how aging myself with cynicism and suspicion will benefit anyone (especially my children).
It sucks. If we had a way to clobber the WAS into compliance, I'm sure we would but, sadly they have free will...
As for society, I DO think we are in an exceptionally narcissistic era. Even the "enlightened" have defined happiness as tantamount to "instant self-gratification"...perhaps this is an evolutionary phase we have to go through.
