First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

JAK, Doc, thanks. Irish, I'll write when I have time. Work has been crazy busy. I haven't forgot about ya!

What's happened since Wed? Like I said (this is for you Pup!), something is holding her back. Wed night we went to "our" bar/grill, had a great time and she pulled the same move again. Sitting close, some body contact, but then pulls away. And it hit me hard. All these images and thoughts. I'm sure you didn't pull away when OM was touching you. You're getting everything you need and have a nice comfortable life and I'm sitting here bleeding from a gaping chest wound and you don't care one bit that your actions caused that bleeding. Stuff like that.

Thurs I just couldn't shake those images. Needless to say it was a bad day. Work sucked. Couldn't concentrate. Thurs night we went to the store and W was trying, but again, everything is perfect for her.

Friday morning I sent her an email. Didn't want to pressure her and didn't want to talk to her face to face cause I'd have probably exploded. Basically I said, something is holding you back, and I don't know what it is (even though I have ideas), I'm trying to be patient, but this is getting old, and it's terribly frustrating that you won't open yourself up to me. I told her I could take it, what ever it is, because I know that being honest with each other is the only way we can get to where we both want to be in our marriage. I closed with an "I love you".

Didn't hear anything from her all day. Last evening when she got home I was sitting on the deck and she messed around in the house, avoiding coming out side. Eventually she did, just as I got a work call. I had to go back into the office for a little bit. When I got home I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner, so we went to "our" bar/grill again.

Had a GREAT time. She didn't pull away from me or anything. Was REALLY talking about future stuff with US. When we got home we sat out on the deck for another hour, just talking. About midnight I told her I was going upstairs and.....she slept on the couch.

I know, I know. She felt like there was pressure and I was going to want to ML (which I did, but only if she wanted to) and that's why she slept on the couch.

So now I'm sitting here, she's upstairs sleeping, and I'm as frustrated as ever. I just don't understand what I have to do.

I just feel myself caring less and less. I fear it's getting close to my just not giving a flying F what happens, all just when it seems she's figuring it out.

Ok, that's about it. Comments?