Trying to detach from the madness!

[Startingover2]

I can't win.
Exh's visit time is between 3 and 6 MWF and Saturday mornings from 8-10.

Today he sends a text at 1:00...

exh: Is baby sleeping?
me: yes
exh: I wanted to walk over early today. How long will she be asleep?
me: I don't know. I will let you know when she gets up.

Then just now at 2:25:

exh: You know I am sick of everything being on your schedule. I will see her tomorrow.

I haven't responded. Should I? I want to tell him this is her nap time. His visit isn't until 3 so how is it my schedule? Sounds like he wants it to be his schedule. What...hot date with married girl?

Do I respond to this crap?

[kassie]

Just stick to the schedule, my guess is that he can't remember the specifics of the time, just the days. Besides it cuts into his happy hour time. And Sat, I can't imagine his being up in the a.m. Not your problem.

It isn't your job to respond - just to be there for the times laid out in court that is all!

Good job by the way! I like the goals - will help you stick to them. His stuff is nonsense anyway and the family - well we have already seen that they don't know a thing about his problem or him apparently.

I don't know where you live, but I have lived in a number of states with no money and always found some stuff to do. Picnics, walks, library, book stores, coffee, small shopping centers, some places have free days at museums, or discount tickets to the theatre or symphony concerts, summer park concerts, or self help groups, some book stores have authors visit esp for kids.

[K4D]

I haven't read your whole thread yet. But I will say that when you are an alcoholic, you are in your own world. You think things you wouldn't think if you were sober for a while. For instance, when I used to drink, I used to think it would be great if I had my own place and didn't have to deal with anything. Then when I sobered up, I realized how horrible that idea was and how much I do want my W and kids around. The alcohol masks reality for you. It makes you think you are stronger than you really might be. It makes you feel like you don't need anyone or anything and could care less. Reality is far different. At least it is for me.

I know how much I need my W and kids. I never realized it when I drank. I didn't care. I always had to alcohol taking over my real feelings.

I need to read your entire thread. That is just a quickie note since you asked.

Kevin

[aliveandkicking]

I know how much I need my W and kids.

Tell us Kevin, what's wrong with that statement?

Otherwise great post and great attitude.

[Startingover2]

Kass...I am determined to start over again..maybe I should be startingover3? Just kidding.

He was trying to make chit chat earlier. It was actually during his visit time so whatever his reason for not coming he was able to text. He has been complaining more and more about having to walk here. Plus seeing baby at my house must stink, but oh well.

Kevin..thank you. I am so glad you are sober! What an accomplishment. Kudos to you. The A mind is very strange. Very irrational and selfish.

My daughter just came in from work. She was laughing so hard. She had my car as hers had a headlight out because my other daughter backed into her (another long story). Anyway, she dropped her coworker off who lives right next door to exh, but they share the same driveway. As my daughter was pulling in married girl was hauling a&& out of the driveway. Must have been leaving exh's. My daughter had to honk the horn or the married girl would have slammed into MY car! My daugter said exh must have heard the horn and came out and his jaw dropped when he saw my car. I love it. That would have been hysterical if she hit my car. Married woman would have alot of 'splainin to do to her hubby.

Like blinsided..I want my popcorn and soda for the fallout of exh show. I hope I am around to see it.

[K4D]

aliveandkicking,

True. Let me rephrase that statement. I know how important my W and kids are now. When I was drinking, they weren't important. Now they are.

Kevin

[Startingover2]

Its 10 A.M. another no show and no text. Ok, off to find something fun to do today. Need to have my response ready if he wants to see her later.

[Startingover2]

Well, exh did text at 10:15

exh: what are your plans?
me: just walking out the door.
exh: so another day that I don't get to see baby.
me: we waited all morning for you. Made plans for after 10. sorry
exh: No your not! I want to see her tomorrow. Can you bring her by. I will have my other kids.

I didn't respond. I am not taking her there. He wants to see her he can walk here.

We have been gone for a few hours and when we were on our way home saw his truck at the liquor store. His 21 year old nephew and his friend were in the truck. I parked across the street and watched. Exh came out with a case of beer! I tried to take a pic with my phone but it was too far away. Looks like another eventful day for exh. Only people he can hang out with are 21 year olds!

Wow.

[kassie]

Keep away from him now, he is nowhere ready to stop or take responsibility.

Handled the situation great!

So what did you decide to do for fun today? Tommorrow's plan may not be as expected, with m y attendance at a conference today I have so much to do tommorrow. SIL sent H a card for the first time and pic's of our grandson who we adore. SIL is trying to be supportive, I think I mentioned he had a problem for awhile too and has one and half years now. We are still working on SIL 2.

[Startingover2]

Thanks Kass!

He sent more texts tonight and I hope I handeled it well.

exh: How is baby.
Me: she is fine.
exh: You never answered my text about tomorrow. Baby needs to see her dad on Fathers Day.
Me: Of course. We will be available from 10:30 to 12:30 and then again after her nap at 3. Let me know what time works for you to come over.
exh: What the he** is that supposed to mean huh?

I never answered again and never heard from him.

Trying to stay tough.