WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

The best way I've found to be grateful is my gratefulness journal. I can fill a whole page every day and sometimes more. There are wonderful things in your life that you just have to slow down and notice.

That's a great idea - I think I'm going to start one today!

It had been a great day with my boys. My 3 year old still had school today, but I had my 7 year old with me all day. After breakfast, I hit the computer to do more job searches and more resume tweaking and networking for a couple of hours. Then he and I played video games together until lunch. Afterwards, we did the yard work together (mow the grass, pulling weeds from the flowerbeds, etc). It was hard work but during one of our water breaks, he said that he felt like a real grown up doing it. I told him how proud I was of him and how much I loved him. He just had a big grin on his face. Now that is a gratefulness moment!

Afterwards, we played some basketball and had a catch before going to pick up his little brother.

The three of us had a great game of baseball, before we decided to go for a bike ride around our development. The 3 year old rode his "big boy bike" (training wheels, not a tricycle) for the second time. Even though he couldn't keep up with his big brother, he was so proud of himself. He only went around once, but his brother went around 4 times. Each time, he would stop and the three of us would take a break and just talk. This was another huge gratefulness moment.

In the past, I wouldn't have enjoyed the moment like that. I would have just been thinking we have to hurry through the ride so we can get back home to start dinner or do the next thing. I now understand what they mean when they say its not the destination, but the journey. That is what my wife and marriage counselor had been trying to say last year. I am such a DAM for not getting it until my wife's bomb. I know it's not too late to enjoy life with this new understanding, but do regret not getting it until now because of what it had done to my marriage.

I am trying to show my wife that I'm taking life with a different outlook now. Not because of I want to do it for my wife, but because I see it's a better way of living life.