K4D Rising

[K4D]

Ok. Here is my new thread.

I am working on my faith much more again. I am reading the bible much more now. I have been reading it more to my kids also.

I'm with my kids this weekend. Tonite me and D7 went for a walk. Well, she rode her scooter and I walked around the apartment complex. I came home and made spagetti and pizza and then went and got chocolate ice cream and gummy bears to put in it for them with chocolate syrup. The kids loved it.

I felt anxious today at work. But tonite I am feeling much better. Its all in trying to train the new me. Yesterday I felt excellent emotionally. My praying continues and I am trying to worry less about things.

I am going to take the kids somewhere fun tomorrow as soon as I figure out where tonite. I have a couple of ideas. Sunday it will be just me and the girls for fathers day. I'm thinking I haven't had my favorite Buffalo Wild Wings in a while. That could be good to have for fathers day. Carribean Jerk and Medium sauce wings. mmmm... yum...

I got my first utility bill today. Its kind of a reality of yup, I'm really in it now.

But you know what, I am praising God for my blessings. I am asking God to change me for the better.

As far as W goes, lets see. Last night D7 was over tired because she went swimming twice yesterday and could not fall asleep. She was very weepy and wanted to talk to her mommy. So I let her call her. Then W tried talking to me about ideas to help her get to sleep. I had tried them already. Then this morning W sent me a couple of texts asking how the kids went this morning. Other than that, it has been quiet between me and her. I'm not initiating any conversations with her. Its hard, but it is part of the new process of rising out of this along with giving us any chance at all.

I have to start finding time to work out. It is kind of hard when the kids are here during the week. I find myself wanting to be with them. But during the off weeks I am going to have to start putting in some time.

Right now D11 is on one of the laptops and D7 is playing on the playstation 3. We are all in the living room together. Its a pretty laid back Friday night.

One thing I decided is I will not blame W for anything any more or judge her on here or anywhere else. I will raise her up regardless of what the situation may be. Its part of showing unconditional love. That doesn't mean I won't state what a situation is that is occuring. But I will do it in a better light than previously without adding opinions as much as possible. If I slip up, 2x4 me. But I am going to work really hard not to do that.

Patience will be my biggest enemy right now that I must overcome. I am going to force my confidence to grow within myself. And I will be keeping my eyes on God and what he expects from me.

K4D