The b-day gift...have to ponder. A thoughtful gift if you know you are getting something but not over the top and NOT a ring or bracelet or "chain" of anykind...that's all I have for now on that...and NOT a book on M's or R's...
The book you probably have already read, is a classic and if you have not read it, DO SO fast--The Five Love Languages, by Chapman. I'd rank that book 2nd to DBing for me in what I learned. (The rest of the helpful books depend on your specific issues I think.) But 5LL's helped me realize that in many ways I had been blind to how H was loving me b/c it wasn't wrapped the way I THOUGHT it should be. The same applied to him. It's easy to say "yeah yeah we get it. We're different." But when you fully realize your partner HAS been loving you, in their way, and they don't know your way, it's tragic if "that's it". Definitely a good book. (Um nope, don't give it to her!! It's for you...and later on, someday, we can all hope and pray that she reads it).
For you, perhaps you may want to read "Boundaries" b/c it seems appropriate to your sitch. It's a good one about where you end and the other begins and might help you NOT obsess about your w...or..."She who must not be named..."
J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
