You know, the definition of pathology is when someone cannot change, cannot grow, and does not have insight about one's own behavior...and the old lack of empathy thing.
This inner conflict never seems to go away. Today I was feeling a little more grounded, making some personal strides and feeling more confident, and he comes home and starts going thru the house and looking for things that aren't done. I did everything he asked me to do, I've kept the yard up so he doesn't have that to do, which I've not done before. I go out and pull weeds, etc every morning so it doesn't get ahead of me. I keep the car cleaned out, something else he has often complained about, so I keep it pretty straight.
The kids are banned from all electronics for a week because of mouthiness, so they do other things like make art, etc, make MESSES, etc, lol. They picked up all their crap from the day, but their room was still kind of messy. This is the part where I tell you we have 800 square feet of living space, plus a semi finished basement with playroom and office. They are home all day. It is summer. They play in the house. So 90% of everything is looking good and in order and that's not good enough. When I tried to explain that while they are home, some of it is being used. He told me I am just taking their side. Because it's all about "sides" and who's "winning" with him.
I don't even know why I came back to this board...I guess it sounds like I am just here to complain. I keep making the decision in my head that our family should be together and then in 10 minutes of his coming home I am near tears because of his bitching and perfectionism. Basically,everything is to be perfect when he gets home.
I really don't like him right now. I wish I could keep his criticism from bothering me. He got mad at me for getting upset. I just walked away.
