Alive,
If YOU want to "work" or whatever you are calling it in a relationship, then by all means "work"...

I am in a GREAT marriage. It isn't "work"

Real love is NOT work. If you have to "work" at it, then something has been wrong for a long time.

I know a lot of people on here "working" on their marriage.

I fail to see all that work producing much. Do YOU?

It is when you STOP working on it that it will fall into place.
You may not be there yet, but when you are, you will know it.