Thanks for stopping by WT. Here is a quick update about what happened Thursday morning. You may get to swing that 2x4 yet today.
I had to go back to Toronto and Wednesday night I was thinking my W would come to bed early since we have been getting along better. She did not and I was irritaded and ended up sleeping on the couch.(Yea I know no expectations)
The next morning after I got a shower she asked why I did that. Told her I could not sleep. Then she asked me if I was going to give her a hug which I gruggingly did. Then she asked if I was mad at her and I said no.
She asked again why I sleep on the couch and I said its nothing don't worry about it. At which she said fine.
I went down stairs and got ready and decided to tell her what was really bothering me. I went back upstairs and asked her if she wanted to know why I slept on the couch and she said yes.
I told her I am tired of going to bed alone, I am tired of not having any physical contact and I keep telling you this.She said I thought we were doing better, getting along better. I said we are but I am frustrated that's all. I told you when we started MC that I feel love different than you. You see it as acts of kindness and words of affection and not that I don't like the time we have been spending together but I need physical contact.
All that stuff is nice but how would you feel if I did not talk to you for three weeks. She said she would not like that. I said that is how I feel when we go weeks without toiuching.
She said why didn't you ask me.last night? I said I feel like I am invading your space and I don't want you to think it is a chore. I asked you back in October and even before that that I wanted you to come to bed earlier sometimes to be with me and I sound like a wuss or needy to continue to ask you.
She said that it does not make you sound like a wuss.
I also said I don't want to put undo pressure onto you but we have been in MC for 6 months now and I don't know anymore now than I did then. I need to know where you think we are going and what you expect out of our R. I know there is something you are not telling me and I think the MC knows because she keeps preaching patience and its been a long time and all I ever get is that its getting better and its been this way a long time.
She said all I told the MC is that I am not ready yet nothing more.
We sat in silence for a minute and she said I will try harder.
Heard that before abd have done this convo before but maybe just maybe she will get it this time.
