The arrogant one who becomes completely self-obsessed, I'm perfect the way I am, guess what he'll attract? Another insecure, needy woman (perhaps disguised as a super-model)...
Really? A super-model??? Hmmmm . . .
Sorry; just thought I'd add a little levity. Carry on . . .
Just to clarify my statement about loving more than one person. When you date someone, you think they are THE ONE you love one another, etc. until you break up. Then the next person comes along and you find yourself thinking that person is THE ONE.
So you see it is possible to love more than just one person. None of us have to stay with the person we're with. We make it a choice to.
Interesting.... It seems to me that the context of the subject was pointing to the fact that your opinion was in loving more than just one person "at a time"...
NO? Or have we now changed the context.
I hope you don't do this when you discuss things with your wife.
There was also the discussion of Stuck's wife being UNABLE to love more than one person at a time...(A fits into it, it does)...
She can love and devote herself to the kids but not H too. She pulls from one to give to the other. Of course you can love more than one person...come on guys.
Shall we dissect the meaning of the word "love"...
Although the posts have been different in terms of degrees, it all comes down to one thing. Emotional detachment. Through emotional detachment I'll get:
1) my mojo back 2) my confidence back 3) my value back 4) my life back
It doesn't have to be through emotional detachment. This is what is tripping you up....
DISCIPLINE. It comes through discipline.. Discipline yourself DESPITE your emotions. As a man, this should be something that you can logically understand... Keep your emotions out of it. Discipline yourself to do and say and act detached. Forget out the emotional detachment "before" you get confident, let go and whatever else you say you will have after detachment. Just do it as a discipline.
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And whether or not she wants to be a part of that life, then its her decision.
Nope... Then it will be YOUR DECISION....
Get it?
Awesome! And the discipline is the work on one's self and GAL...on your terms. Thanks for showing up here Gucci. I get so much from everyone's sitches.
BTW- you think the paradigm is the same when the guy leaves?
The arrogant one who becomes completely self-obsessed, I'm perfect the way I am, guess what he'll attract? Another insecure, needy woman (perhaps disguised as a super-model)...
Really? A super-model??? Hmmmm . . .
Sorry; just thought I'd add a little levity. Carry on . . .
Puppy
Uh, I've known enough of 'em to tell you...high maintenance...but "they're so damn hot!"
Leaving and getting all fancied up, getting attention from the ladies, being super busy (my H) does NOT build real self-esteem. Guarantee, doesn't matter how many success stories you show me.
Sounds just like what it is..PHYSCHOLOGICAL BABBLE...
To be honest, it DOES build self esteem. Is it the only thing to self esteem? No. A part of it? absolutely.
You ever see a thread from a person who left this site and then comes back on months or years later all excited and life is good and oh how everything is so wonderful?...
Yep.. Guess what they usually end up saying...
"I have found a person who is so good to me" We get along so good. He or she treats me so well and life is wonderful.....
Finding another person to love that loves you back DOES help build self esteem. It is a fact. Dressing up nicely and trying to look good DOES build self esteem. Staying active and busy DOES build self esteem.
Hanging in there and tryinng to win back a lover or spouse who is having an affair while you "tolerate" it...
LOWERS SELF ESTEEM.. (for examples, read the threads on this site)
"I have found a person who is so good to me" We get along so good. He or she treats me so well and life is wonderful.....
Eye-roll.
And they only end up NOT divorced from that person if they do some real work. Come on, my relative is a D lawyer, says he sees that people just change bodies.
Sure, you get the awesome first few years (you had those with the first spouse too)...
There is nothing wrong with making those changes while in the M and seeing what happens...but you have to do the work!!!
The arrogant one who becomes completely self-obsessed, I'm perfect the way I am, guess what he'll attract? Another insecure, needy woman (perhaps disguised as a super-model)...
Quite a leap you seem to have made..
From... "My wife is in love with another man and wants a divorce, but I am perfectly fine the way I am and am going to move on"
To...
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The arrogant one who becomes completely self-obsessed, I'm perfect the way I am, guess what he'll attract? Another insecure, needy woman
We missed a step or two in there.....YOU are coming across to me as quite angry. YES? Why?
Being perfectly fine and coming across as arrogant and that one is perfect the way they are, is not one and the same.... Please don't twist my words. I can speak for myself.
HMMMM Supermodel huh?..... Maybe arrogance has it's place.....
