Oh and I am a woman and it wasn't until H left that I woke up
I know. The majority of men on here struggling just can't seem to let go. It is nothing more than low self esteem and lack of confidence. To top it off, I don't see much of a success rate with the tactics and methods the men are using on this site a working very well. We have men who have been on here from 2 weeks to over two years. Same methods being used by most all and same results happening to most all..
I guess the men who have been on here for so long just need a "little more patience" and understanding before she wakes up...
Maybe tomorrow huh? Maybe three years is the key......
All the while the simple facts and reality that the men who usually have the most succes getting the woman to come back are the ones who let them go the fastest and leave the woman alone the quickest. The men who go out and start getting a life, having fun, mingling and flirting with the opposite sex and living and loving life to the fullest. They stop whining, stop complaining, stop venting, stop journaling and START DOING..
Those are the men who succeed. The evidence is all around these men struggling, but they fail to see....
I wonder why that is?
Not sure it is just about low self-esteem; it is a flippin' marriage!!! However, let's say it is a self-esteem issue. Building self-esteem takes time and work. In a perfectly implemented DB paradigm, a spouse would be able to do the work, build self-esteem while tolerating the other spouse.
Leaving and getting all fancied up, getting attention from the ladies, being super busy (my H) does NOT build real self-esteem. Guarantee, doesn't matter how many success stories you show me. You have to do the work. And, it is so much deeper. That is why I keep asking Stuck (no answer yet)-How are you stuck? What do you need to work on (unrelated to W)?...and guess what? When he gets on that, he will probably have the confidence and the where-with-all to lay it on the line with W and she'll have to sh*t or get off the pot.
So, it takes some people years to "get it"...leaving doesn't fix it either.
The arrogant one who becomes completely self-obsessed, I'm perfect the way I am, guess what he'll attract? Another insecure, needy woman (perhaps disguised as a super-model)...shallow nonsense this decided confidence is...
You start by faking it till you make it but no matter where you are physically, Do the flippin work no matter how long it takes.
