GETTING UN'STUCK'

[MrBond]

Well it has been an animated morning with everyone's replies.

gucci, robx, aliveandkicking,

Although the posts have been different in terms of degrees, it all comes down to one thing. Emotional detachment. Through emotional detachment I'll get:

1) my mojo back
2) my confidence back
3) my value back
4) my life back

And whether or not she wants to be a part of that life, then its her decision.

So it goes back to me being a friend to her. She already know perfectly well that I want the M however, she also knows that while I would like our M, I don't NEED her. I've already told her as much. I had told her that I am perfectly fine raising the kids on my own and finding someone who values me. I just hadn't brought it up in awhile. That and the fact that I told her if she wasn't happy, she should leave. Although from gucci's POV, I should just tell her to leave which I can't because of our kids. I couldn't do that to them. I'm not worried about me.

Heck when we were separated, I went out, had fun and when the kids were with me, I was the best damn parent around. I guess I'm doing what robx was doing. Now we can sit at the dinner table alone and talk. I don't let the convo get too deep, just keep it light and play it by ear.

Everyone's approach has to be different because all WASs are different. What works for one person may not work for another. Look at 25yearsmlc who waited years before her H came back. Is she a weak person for doing so, not at all. She just did what she had to do.

When I found out my W was first having her A, I promptly kicked her out and told her she'd never see the kids again. I didn't want her back. But as I looked at the wider scheme of things, I figured that it was worth a shot for my kids. And that's where it's gotten me to this point.

I am going to continue to work on myself. Heck even last night, my W said I could go the gym while she watched the kids. I just had to pick up dinner for them on the way home. That's something she wouldn't have done 3 months ago. She actually saw something that was important to me and told me to do it.

How does one interpret that? Reward the behavior or punish? Or is there the middle ground which I've been walking?